When did you become a father, and how many children do you have?
I became a father August 29th, 2008 — the day my son Kyran was born — and then was lucky enough to have my daughter Chloe on March 15th, 2010. Those are two of the best little humans that have ever come into my life and they have completely changed me for the better.
Did you always know you wanted to be a dad?
Yes, I knew I wanted to be a dad since shortly after graduating high school.
What’s your favorite part about being a father?
Being a father is such a great gift that it is almost impossible to pinpoint my favorite part. I would have to say that it is being a loving, safe, vulnerable, honest, and trustworthy guide throughout the entirety of my child’s life. This means being a great listener who isn’t judgmental and can offer meaningful feedback and guidance through anything that life throws at my child.
"An older friend once told me, 'Worrying is a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.' This has stayed with me since I was 19 and has kept me from panic and the inner critic that can oftentimes make your mind spin circles around things that are usually out of your control."
What would you most like to teach your kids? How would you like them to remember you/think of you decades from now?
There are many things that I would like to teach them but above all, I would love to teach my kids empathy, compassion, and forgiveness for others. I would like them to have grace for people even when they don’t agree with or understand someone else’s viewpoint. And I would like to teach them to follow their hearts and find work they are passionate about. Hopefully, all of this will help them to leave the world in a better place than they discovered it.
Who were some of the father figures in your life? What was one of the most important lessons he/they taught you?
I didn’t have much of a relationship with my father and didn’t have many father figures in my life but an older friend once told me, “Worrying is a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.” This has stayed with me since I was 19 and has kept me from panic and the inner critic that can oftentimes make your mind spin circles around things that are usually out of your control.
What has surprised you most about it? Any mistakes you made that you’d be willing to share?
I’m surprised by all of it. My kids constantly surprise me with their wit, their self-awareness, and their insights into our crazy chaotic, and beautiful world that is ceaselessly changing around them every day. I’ve made mistakes just as any fallible human would do. There are times I could have had more patience or shown more love but without making mistakes I don’t think I would have become the person I am today.
What’s the most (embarrassing) dad thing you do? (e.g., tell dad jokes, throw barbecues, etc.)
I feel like this would be a question best answered by my kids. There is nothing I get embarrassed by and to my knowledge, there is nothing I do that embarrasses my kids except for playing my music loudly when dropping off or picking my daughter up from school. She has always been embarrassed by this and I unknowingly do it every time.
In your own words, how would you define “fatherhood”?
Fatherhood is being a loving mentor, guide, role model, and friend all at the same time. It is a transformative experience that creates a space of warmth, safety, love, and trust out of a human being who once was a child needing all those things. It is creating the feeling of home within yourself so that your child always has a place to go. Fatherhood is something I’m lucky to experience.
